I didn’t exactly have a goal to read 50 books this year, but I’m pretty stoked that I did it, thanks to a mishmash of audiobooks, Kindle, and hard copies. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I love what I get to do for a living, so my fun reading inevitably overlaps with my professional reading, so yes, I am definitely that person reading about sex, therapy, and sex therapy in planes, trains, and automobiles. Although, while I did read, I slacked on writing. Maybe for 2024 I’ll keep up with summaries instead of waiting until the end of the year, then racking my brain to accurately summarize what I read. It’s tempting to just post the titles with thumbs up or heart emojis, but I honestly don’t tend to finish books that aren’t engaging, informative, or entertaining in at least some capacity. So, if you’re interested in the full thumbs (at least partially) up 2023 reading list in addition to this mini list, here’s a link. And, without further ado, in alphabetical order according to title, here are your 10 recommendations from the past year!

• All About Love by Bell Hooks
• I've heard about Bell Books for years, and I'm a little embarrassed to admit that it took me this long to finally get around to diving into some of her work. This was one of those books that I could've highlighted good chunks of just about every page. Her writing is as existentially wise as it is humble, offering insights from her own experiences alongside the larger socio-cultural lens.

• Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Nagoski, Emily, Simon & Schuster
• While this book is geared toward people with vulvas, I highly recommend this book for anyone wanting a better understand of sex, intimacy, and desire. Have a vulva and want to understand yourself (and probably others better)? Read this book. Have a penis and want to understand your vulva-owning partner (and very likely yourself!) a little better? Read this book. Nagoski gives us a rundown of basic anatomy, and offers approachable, accessible, digestible information that empowers people to understand and work with their own arousal system caught up in the larger context of life as we know it.

• Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships by Lauren Fogel Mersy and Jennifer A. Vencill
• This book combines solid insights from various resources, including Come As You Are, to offer, as the title indicates, an inclusive guide for readers. Unlike Come As You Are, for which vulva owners are the clear target audience, Desire speaks to a much broader population to unpack the intersection domains of desire and libido, sexual anxiety, and cultural messages around sex and intimacy.

• Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe
• A memoir written in the form of a graphic novel, Kobabe expresses and explains (and literally illustrates!) eir life of nonbinary gender identity and asexuality with a touching and powerful vulnerability. It's a quick read, and one I highly recommend for anyone seeking a better, more expansive understanding of gender (primarily) and sexuality (secondarily).

• Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson
• This book masterfully illustrates the patterns in which we can easily find ourselves feeling stuck and hopeless with our partner, and offers insights and tools for renewed intimacy and bonding. Hold Me Tight integrates attachment, family systems, and experiential lenses to understand ourselves and each other and help create more effective communication and connection.

• How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing by KC Davis LPC
• This is a great read or listen for anyone who struggles to any degree with beliefs around "laziness" and guilt or shame around not getting things done. Better yet, it's applicability can go beyond just keeping house and into other life goals and expectations of self.

• Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make-- and Keep-- Friends by Marisa G. Franco PhD
• It's hard to find and keep community as an adult. When we're kids, we have all kinds of structures in place for us and expectations that we don't necessarily get as adults--at least, not quite so naturally. So, how do we do it? How do we make friends? How do we keep friends? Who are we in relational dynamics? What are the characteristics of meaningful friendships? Meaningful partnerships? Platonic explores and outlines dynamics, beliefs, and expectations around social bonds, and offers not just insights, but actionable advice for cultivating meaningful relationships and community.

• The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin and Robyn Dalzen
• Like many of the books I read this year, life is busy so I listened to this one. As soon as it concluded, I ordered a hard copy and signed up for a 5 day professional training. In an era where we are all magnificently and powerfully charged with understanding and accountability around not just sex and intimacy, but all kinds of power dynamics, the relevance of this book cannot be understated. Awareness, boundaries, and accountability are power, and I'm here for it. I want this book discussed as part of health curriculums in high schools. I want this book studied in college intro courses. I want people to understand that it is only through No that Yes has any meaning, and that intentionality around the nuances of receiving and giving opens a space for confidently consensual and fulfilling human interaction.

• Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life by Nan Wise
• I remember pulling up to the office one day, smiling broadly and exclaiming to nobody in particular as I pulled into my parking space while listening to this book, "OH MY GOD, SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!" Of course, now, however many months later, I don't have a clue what I was so specifically excited about, but the enthusiasm I remember from this book definitely lands it in my top 10 for the year. What I do recall is Wise offered plenty of engaging insights into the barriers and inroads to experiencing an integral part of our humanity: pleasure.

• The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, and Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel
• I said 10 books, so we'll call this entry a "twofer." Esther Perel is definitely one of those therapists over whom I would undoubtedly lose my cool and fangirl in her presence. I've said it to friends, family, and clients: I would love it if I could crawl around in her brain and absorb everything she knows, but alas, it doesn't work that way. So, I'll be keeping these two books somewhere in the rotation along with her podcasts. Infidelity is arguably one of the most difficult challenges any couple could face, and even stray thoughts have been enough to light a fire of concern under plenty of people. Through The State of Affairs, Perel illuminates not just the obvious how and why cheating happens, but also a spectrum of more nuanced historical and cultural perspectives, individual vulnerabilities, and relationship dynamics. She offers a unique opportunity to experience compassion on all sides along with an expectation of accountability throughout the healing process. Mating in Captivity is a go-to recommendation for long-term relationships (and those seeking them) to begin understanding why the erotic fires may cool off along with how to start cultivating a sustainable erotic dynamic.